When Nicole Kidman proudly appeared on the red carpet with her husband Keith Urban and their adult daughters Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret as she received a Lifetime Achievement Award, two of her family members were conspicuously absent.
Connor and Isabella Cruise, 29 and 31 respectively, are Nicole’s children from her first marriage to Hollywood titan Tom Cruise. But as Kidman accepted the American Film Institute gong at the Dolby Theater in Hollywood on Saturday and paid tribute to the ‘loves of her life’; her husband and daughters, Connor and Isabella, were not named.
When Cruise and Nicole divorced in 2001 after 11 years of marriage, joint custody of the children was given to the parents. Behind closed doors, however, the adopted children remained ‘loyal to their father’ and decided to live with him, meaning they were raised in the controversial Church of Scientology.
Nicole, now 56, has not been publicly pictured with her eldest two children since 2007, and was reportedly ‘devastated’ after the couple failed to attend her father’s funeral in 2014.
It was also reported that she was keen for Connor and Bella to attend the ceremony this weekend as she received America’s highest award for a film career.
Although Connor, who is believed to be ‘extremely loyal to his father’ Tom, 61, Nicole did not appear to show any public support for her achievement, daughter Bella liked one of her mother’s Instagram posts about the award.
Despite a reported rift between Nicole and her eldest children – something Connor and Bella deny – the actress has previously spoken about her ‘unconditional’ love for Connor and Bella, in light of their ‘choices to become Scientologists’.
The A-list couple adopted Connor and Isabella in the early 1990s after Nicole suffered an ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage – and as a result were told it might be difficult to conceive.
She previously opened up in an interview with Tatler about her fertility issues with Cruise, and how she felt a ‘longing’ for children.
“The loss of miscarriage isn’t talked about enough. That is a huge sadness for certain women,” she said.
She did not discuss her relationship with her adopted children in the interview, but Nicole did talk about the maternal instinct; whether one’s children are biological or adopted.
She said: ‘Whether you’re an adoptive mother, whether you’re a foster mother, whether you’re a birth mother – it’s the emotion of bonding with a child and helping to guide and raise them. [that is important].’
It has been suggested that the Church of Scientology may be the reason for Nicole’s distance from her older children.
In her book Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology, former Scientology member Leah Remini alleged that Nicole was labeled a “suppressive person” or “SP” by the church after her departure.
Ron Miscavige, the father of Scientology leader David, who himself renounced the religion, previously told DailyMail.com that there is a “toxic” policy of “disconnection” within the church.
Speaking to the website in 2016, five years before he passed away, Ron (who was estranged from David) explained that the disconnection policy requires Scientologists to cut off contact with any family member who leaves the church. He claimed it happened to him not only with son David, but also with his two daughters, Denise and Lori.
A year earlier, a controversial documentary Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief made claims about the church in interviews with former members who have since left.
One of the allegations in the film was that Scientologists conspired to “facilitate the breakup” of Tom Cruise’s second marriage to Nicole Kidman because the head of the church, David Miscavige, distrusted her.
Kidman was listed as a “potential source of trouble” because her father was a psychologist in Australia, according to the Daily Beast.
Gibney’s film claims that Kidman, who was raised Catholic, convinced Cruise to distance himself from the Church of Scientology between 1992 and 2001.
It is also claimed that Cruise did not answer Miscavige’s calls during the filming of Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut, even though he was the best man at the actor’s wedding.
Marty Rathbun, a former senior executive of the Church of Scientology, said an aggressive campaign has been launched to break up the couple.
It involved tapping Kidman’s phone and psychoanalyzing Cruise and his movements 24 hours a day.
The personal information they collected was then passed on to Miscavige.
Rathbun even states that the Church of Scientology “re-educated” Cruise’s adopted children, Connor and Isabella, so that they would turn against their mother in an attempt to strengthen Cruise’s custody case.
The Church denounced the accusations made in the explosive film when it was released. In a five-page letter to the Hollywood Reporter, Church said, “According to our calculations, the film contains at least one major error every two minutes on average.”
However, it seems Kidman’s relationship with their children has been more distant since her divorce from Cruise – and when her son Connor got married in a Scientology ceremony in 2019, she was noticeably absent.
At the time, it was reported that Cruise had banned his son from inviting Nicole to the occasion due to her status as an “oppressive person.”
An insider told Radar at the time, “First, Tom would never even consider inviting Nicole to Connor’s wedding because she is considered an ‘oppressive person’ by the church — and second, he doesn’t want her there. ‘
They added that the Mission Impossible star turned her back on Nicole “a long time ago” and has never looked back.
Despite not being seen in public with Bella and Connor since 2007, Nicole has occasionally spoken about her eldest children and revealed her enduring love for them.
Speaking to The Sun in 2019, Nicole said: ‘Motherhood is about the journey. There will be incredible highs and lows whether you are an adoptive mother or a birth mother. What a child needs is love.
‘They chose to become Scientologists. Our job as parents is to always provide unconditional love.”
She also told Woman’s Weekly in 2014 that her children were “generous, kind and hardworking,” describing her film Lion (in which she plays an adoptive mother) as a “love letter” to them.
However, the children have previously denied that there is division within the family.
In 2014, Connor said: ‘I don’t care what people say. I know me and my mom are solid. I love her a lot. My family means everything.”
Speaking to MailOnline in 2016, Bella, who now lives in London with her IT manager husband, said: ‘Of course [we talk]”They’re my parents,” she says. “Anyone who says otherwise is full of nonsense.”
In 2012, she told New Idea, “I love mom. [Nicole’s] my mother. She is amazing. I see her sometimes and talk to her,” adding “we are a very close family. I love our whole family.”
Bella’s Instagram account shows that she is also keeping her mother’s last name – using Bella Kidman Cruise.
Nicole’s relationship with the children she shares with Cruise is in stark contrast to that of his third wife, Katie Holmes.
She and Suri Cruise, 18, share an incredibly close relationship after the Dawson’s Creek actress retained full custody in the divorce settlement and the couple moved to New York.
Although breaking away from the Church of Scientology and separating its most influential member was a risky undertaking, Katie Holmes had a secret weapon: her divorce lawyer father, Martin Holmes.
People magazine reported that Katie asked Martin for advice before taking steps to divorce Tom and that he “helped orchestrate his daughter’s sudden divorce” from the actor.
“Marty is very rigid: it’s his way or the highway,” a Toledo attorney who has worked with Martin told the magazine.
“Marty believes there are only two sets of rules: the rules of the court and his rules, and that’s how he behaves.”
Divorce documents at the time revealed that Katie Holmes would receive $400,000 from multi-millionaire Tom in the form of child support every year until Suri turned 18.
The Hollywood actor would also pay Suri’s medical and dental expenses, as well as her insurance, education costs and tuition fees. The money is reportedly paid via electronic transfer.
As for Suri’s education, the couple agreed that their daughter would not attend boarding school – which dispelled rumors that she would attend a Scientology-run institution.
Katie was given sole custody of their daughter, while Tom was given ‘meaningful’ visitation rights.
However, in a situation that appears to be the opposite of his relationship with Bella and Connor, Tom has not been seen in public with his daughter for about a decade, and sources claim he now has little involvement in her life.
The Top Gun actor’s last photo out and about with his daughter was a trip to Disneyland in 2012, the year his divorce from Katie was finalized.
That same year, the Hollywood titan reportedly didn’t see his daughter for more than 100 days, between a vacation they took in August and Thanksgiving in November.
While Nicole raises her youngest children Sunday Rose, 15, and Faith Margaret, 13, with second husband Keith Urban, she has notably kept the teens out of the spotlight.
During her emotional acceptance speech at the American Film Institute Life Achievement Award Gala, she referred to the girls as the “loves of [her] to live’.
Nicole added, “My daughters have never been on a red carpet publicly with me anywhere, tonight was their first night so here they are, Sunday and Faith.”